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Love Languages

Love Languages

Do you know the five love languages of children?
  • They are: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service. One of these five is the primary love language of every child.  If we do not speak their language, they will not feel as loved. This does not mean that we should only speak their primary love language. No, we need to give heavy doses of their primary love language, while also you sprinkling in the other four.
  • The idea is that children learn to receive and give love in all five languages. This prepares them for good relationships as adults.  
  • Modeling by adults is the most effective method of teaching. If we love our children effectively, they will learn to love others. 

Learn more about each of the five Love Languages below! 

Kids whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation most like for others to tell when they do a good job. 
Here are some suggestions of things you can say or do:
  • *Be specific when you praise (“you did such a great job helping clean up”)
  • *Compliment them
  • *Speak positively about them
  • *Write positive notes on the mirror
  • *Tell them “I Love You” often
  • *Praise them aloud around others
  • *Write a positive letter to them
  • *Come up with a cheer or song with their name in it
Some favorite phrases to use include: 
“Terrific!”, “Good job!”, “You’re #1!”, “You are an awesome kid!”, “You did it!”, “Way to go!” 


If your kid's Love Language is Quality Time, they enjoy doing things with people who are special. 
Here are some suggestions of things you can do:

  • *Run errands 1:1 together
  • *Have a special “date night/breakfast” 1:1
  • *Make eye contact when talking with them
  • *Ask them to tell you three good things about their day
  • *Pay attention to details they share with you
  • *Plan special events/trips together
  • *Make time to eat together as a family
  • *Read stories together
  • *Have a special bedtime/morning routine together 
  • ‚Äč


Acts of Service means feeling special when people do nice things such as: 
helping with chores, school projects, driving places,and making your favorite meals and snacks. 
Here are some suggestions of things you can do:

  • *Practice sports or a hobby together 
  • *Take them somewhere they enjoy
  • *Work together on a project
  • *Check over their homework
  • *Be sure to pick them up on time
  • *Surprise them by doing a chore for them
  • *Engage in service projects to teach them how to serve others


pic:giftspic:gifts with kids

If this is your child's Love Language, they feel good when someone gives them something special. They really enjoy a special present or surprise. 

Some things your child may really look forward to are: birthday presents, surprise treats, earning a treat, and having their favorite food made for them.
Here are some suggestions of things you can do:

  • *Keep a small stash of inexpensive gifts
  • *Give them a flower or special stone you find outside
  • *Leave small gifts for them when you are 
  • out of town or working late
  • *Shop with them for a special gift
  • *Send them on a gift scavenger hunt


If your child tends to prefer to receive hugs, kisses, high fives, and cuddle, their Love Language is probably Safe Touch. They may also like physical activities like racing, wrestling, playing tag, and climbing in your lap.
Here are some suggestions of things you can do:

  • *Hold hands
  • *Hug often
  • *Sit together in bean bag or other comfortable chairs
  • *Share family cuddle time 
  • *Sing action songs together
  • *Have some tickle fun
  • *Read stories together on the couch or your lap